What could have been

I drown in a thousand "if only"s
Of "if"s and "but"s and "maybe"s

If only I did
But had I done

Maybe... Maybe... Maybe...
What was cannot be undone

I regret what is
Remembering what was

What will be
What could have been



My heart hurts.

Habit

Wow! It's been more than one month since I've last posted. It sucks that I have no one to motivate me (as no one is reading this).

It supposedly takes 21 straight days to make a habit, maybe if i got the strength to post everyday, this would be easier...

Speaking of habits, this Christmas break, I should make it a habit to:

1. Floss and use mouthwash
2. Use a 6 step regime for my face
3. Exercise

Wonder if that'll actually happen.

Power Differences

It's sad, but when power is unequal,the less powerful one has to turn a blind eye to the mistakes of the one in the elevated position.

This is especially annoying when the latter takes advantage (even unknowingly)of this imbalance in order to excuse himself or herself without actually apologizing. It then seems to be the fault of the former.

It is unjust; it is reality.

*is experiencing something of that sort*

Corruption

Corruption is wrong. We all know that. We protest vehemently against the abuse of power by public officials. We know that what they are doing is unlawful, unfair and unjust.

However, the problem lies not only with those in power; The blame is shared with the very society that embraces it. It is obvious that when a powerful official takes a bribe from a company in order to promote the latter's interest that there is a wrong being done. If these incidents are found out, there is outrage, but there is also resignation. People seem to see corruption as a fact-of-life, and do their best to live with (and sometimes exploit) it.

Let's say you are driving and beat a red light. A policeman comes eagerly and practically announces that he will take P500. You accept, for you want neither a mar on your record or the hassle of reacquiring your license. You go on your way, both annoyed with the necessity of a bribe, and relieved for not having to go through the bothersome business. We would call the policeman corrupt for receiving the bribe, but what do we call the one who gave it? Is he victim or accessory to a crime?

What about a man who has a lot of connections. He exploits these connections: For example, in order not to pay for exorbitant customs taxes, he asks someone he knows to waive it? Connections are valuable here in the Philippines; Patronage is a common thing to both those with and without clout. It is used to obtain mercies unavailable to the common man, and entails a debt of loyalty to the petitioner.

Lastly, it is not only those in government who will lie, cheat and steal to get money from other people. There are thousands of scammers and fixers who, though they decry those they elected for appropriating funds meant for public interest, prey upon both unsuspecting and willing individuals for coin. They simply say that they are trying to make a living.

We live in a culture where corruption is rampant. It is not simply a social evil, it is an inevitable necessity that reaffirms itself everyday.

Nail Glue: Saizen

After almost one week, I can say that I do not much like the glue I got from saizen; I lost more than five nails in the space of a week. Some of them were re-glued and others are lost forever. It's a good thing I painted 24 nails instead of 12, or else this trial would have gone to waste.

I will be taking off my fake nails tonight.

My First Fake Nails and Art

I bought these during the latest black-out after ondoy.



I used these 3 colors: Orly Witch's Blue as the base with China Glaze's Passion for the flower center and OPI Pink-ing of You for the petals. I used a nail dotting tool, and flowers since i can only make dot shapes :) I used Orly Top2Bottom but I can't find it right now.


I painted all the nails and picked out which would fit on my own.


An example of a nail. You might want to file some of them.



Stuck 'em with nail glue and viola! Btw, these nails have not been filed yet...

My baby

This little piggy is the cutest thing in the world!

Rufus, my porky pig baby!

On typhoons and the heartless

A typhoon, typhoon ondoy, hit the Philippines on Sept. 26. Many people were killed. Many houses were flooded and some even got swept away by the waters. Roads were blocked and still the rain continued.

Sadly, not everyone felt the pain of those who suffered: They were either immature in that they saw only their own benefit of not having to go to school, or idiotic when they excused the damage as a form of divine retribution. It is disheartening,despite the fact that many have offered their aid, that there are still those who would say such horrible things in the face of human tragedy.

I pity those who are heartless, soulless and without conscience.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Why I don't like smoking

I do not like smoking for four reasons. It is bad for smokers, non-smokers, the economy and the environment. Smokers and non-smokers have to deal with the different types of smoke (first, second and third) with the poisonous chemicals within it. The amount of money spent on smoking related damage far outweighs the tax collected from it, not to mention the loss of productivity. Finally, smoking, aside from being a fire hazard, is a source of a lot of unnecessary garbage in the form of cigarette butts.

You may not care about your life, but I care about mine. Say no to smoking.

Nails, I do love

I love China Glaze, especially the Romantique Collection. Though it looks horrible in the picture, Passion is lovely. Though I find CG harder to apply than others, I love how the colors look, so I buy.

Pancake House

I recently went to Pancake House to try their Banana Walnut Waffles, the new ones made of rye. Unfortunately, it tasted exactly like the ordinary one. I didn't feel it was worth the extra (less than P20) money. I wonder if there are really any benefits to taking that version instead of the original.

The internet is for...

Today, a couple of friends and I were talking about what the internet is used for. In my opinion, the top 3 (from highest to lowest)rankings for internet usage are:

1. Information dissemination
2. Porn
3. Trade

I lump emailing, facebooking and the like in the top 1. The top 3 ranking includes multiply, ebay and the like. The second placer is pretty much self-explanatory.

An obvious exercise for weight loss...

Do you want to loose weight?

Are you eco-conscious?

Then try the elevator exercise!

What is the elevator exercise? Well, it's the judicious use of an elevator in order to loose some weight. If you are going only one floor up, do not use the elevator. If you are going only two floors down, do not use the elevator. Use the stairs.

Blackout and blindness

It is very dark tonight. As I write, someone is currently fixing a transformer which blew up somehow. There is a blackout. I have access to no electricity, barring the cellphone (whose battery will soon die) and the laptop. There are two things that grieve me: the blackout and the blindness.

Blackout

The blackout, or the brownout, began before I came home at 9 pm. Somebody told me power would be back by 11 or 12 so I went out to eat dinner at a mall until 10. I came back and went to the Meralco vehicle to ask how long it would take for power to return. There was no one inside, someone told me that they went out to eat. I called the Meralco hotline (yes, a call center), and I was told it would take 2 to 4 hours to fix the problem. If it started at 9, then it should be (at the most) fixed by 1 am. Unfortunately, it was not; according to my laptop, it is 1:02 am.
I know that this country is a developing one, and our culture makes us indifferent to time, but I wish problems like these could be solved faster, more efficiently. Is it not enough that the company could charge so much? Can they not find ways, use money, to both avoid and fix these problems?
It is amazing that so many people are inconvenienced by the destruction of one item. It is even more surprising that very few people speak up about it. Are we doomed to be a country of “pwede na?”

Blindness

My other grievance is how dependent we actually are on electricity. Without it, our civilization returns to its pre-industrial revolution state. I myself cannot imagine a world without lights, televisions and internet. This harnessed energy has allowed are species to live in the night and to extend the day. We can do many more things at night because of the light bulb. We do not have to sleep. There is no worldwide curfew at sundown, but while we free ourselves from the sun, we enslave ourselves to another master, technology. I do not think I can survive without it; this gives power to those who control our energy sources. That is a very scary thought, at least for me.

I am blind without technology. This dependency, this addiction, sometimes terrifies me.

Pimple Poem

Do you not hate all the zits in your face?
Zits that migrate from place to place.
Don't know what to do when they break out?
Nothing to it but scream and shout.

Whiteheads, blackheads, red and yellow spots,
Often many, sometimes few.

A Start of a Journey

In light of certain individuals' urging, I have decided to start a blog to record some of the thoughts that run through my head instead of more productive work (such as homework and housework). Hopefully, my procrastinating tendencies will be weakened by this endeavor.

I urge myself to continue this blog to infinity and beyond!

Good luck to me.